Okay, as usual I am going to bring nollywood into this write up -(Obi no run away o biko). I remember watching a Nollywood flick about 2 years ago called Bafana Bafana which featured two star crossed lovers, one Yoruba and One Igbo who fell in love with each other and decided to get married. Of course both sides of the family had issues with the whole idea of these two getting married because of the stereotypes and often times truths that exists about these two ethnic groups. They went ahead and got married because they loved each other. At the end of the movie – everything was resolved and both sides realized that they were one happy extended family (insert awwwwwwwwwwww here) but let’s bring this topic back to reality. We know that it is no big secret that Nigeria with its many ethnic groups, languages and indigenes often times refuses to cross borders when it comes to love. Many groups prefer to marry within their own groups and this idea is fully supported by many parents. But, I have often wondered what happens when a person finds themselves in a different region of Nigeria, Africa, or the world and find themselves in love with someone from that part of the world. Do they say oh my gosh …hell no only my peeps and no one else?
I remember when one of my family members was actively looking – she refused to go across cultural lines – to her, if the guy wasn’t Igbo he shouldn’t allow the words – I love you cross his lips because she had no time for that. I once asked her why and she mentioned so many reasons but one of them was that less work was involved in dating someone from her ethnic group in comparison to other ethnic groups….I remember thinking hmmm and oh by the way, she is getting married soon and he is Igbo.
But, I have to admit that I have crossed that cultural line several times (might explain why I am so comfortable with people from certain countries) and personally I really do not see what the big deal is? Of course, if you do decide to cross lines, you have to be open minded, be willing to learn about your significant other, most importantly you must let go of those stereotypes and just be. So to my dear brothers and sisters – the world has some of the most beautiful people both externally and internally – let’s mix and mingle.
Question for you:
Have you ever dated beyond your cultural borders? Why or why not?
If you did – what were the problems that you had?
Will you recommend intercultural dating – why or why not?
Will you support and intercultural marriage – why or why not?