The Things Men do that Women should Finally Learn from

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Hi there,
I’m Bombchell and I run my personal blog where I talk about everything from partying, friends, funny videos, makeup,  a bunch of pictures, & mostly about life in Atlanta. Anyways I’ll be your guest blogger today =) pretty excited.

My post for today is under relationships. And directed towards the women about the men, though I think everyone will enjoy it regardless of gender (& I sincerely hope no one feels attacked). So let’s jump in, to the things guys always say or do, and how we can learn from it.

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NO 1. I was busy. That statement comes in so many different forms. Be it, “sorry I forgot” (insert date, or whatever he promised he’ll attend to) “I was so… busy at work”!! More like he too busy being rude and couldn’t call to cancel on time. So sure we love them so we forgive them.
But ladies do you notice, “I was busy” never comes with anymore explanations, and we’re too afraid to ask, what exactly he was doing because we’ll be seen as controlling, or clingy or whatever, so we bury the feeling, and put up a front, then pour out the problems to our girlfriends. Bad communication! However if it’s “us” they ask us specific questions, “so where were you?”, “who did you go out with” or that trick question “so, what did you do this weekend” where of course we give every single detail, and they give us their one lines.

2. Be yourself & believe you are worthy of love: Stop feeling guilty!!! Screw all those movies, tv shows, cosmo quizzes and our girl friends. If you have a problem tell him. I find that so many women pretend to be who they’re not, because they are afraid that if they are themselves, he wouldn’t want them. Personally I’d rather be single & happy than pretending to be someone else like a prisoner, be yourself, if he loves you great, if not there’s someone else.

It’s almost as if guys rule the world, and they came up with this great plan centuries ago to make us feel they are kings and we’re here to serve them, and fight for them, and try every trick in the book to win their love & attention. But I doubt they did that, so ladies behave yourselves.
3. Why do we give the guys all the power?? “Does he like me”, “Am I good enough,” “Am I his type,” “Am I too fat.” We give away all the power and worth to the guys that we forget to check & ask ourselves “Is he good enough for me?” “Do I actually like him.” “Do I see a future with him?” “Do I even think he’s hot” We’re too busy trying to win their affection, that we forget what it is we actually want, because we’re occupied with what they want.

We should all be ourselves, right now a lot of us are still young, and time’s on our side. Don’t waste it being someone else, don’t settle for just ok. Being single isn’t a curse, and you might be rejected a lot, but everyone beautiful or not gets rejected, but don’t forget it only right person to make it all worth it.

Hope you enjoyed this =) and I look forward to hearing from you. Perhaps the next post on here, or my blog site might be for the guys, and the stuff ladies do that’s just plain wrong. Oh yeah random:  I’m a 100% Igbo & proud of it.

Kisses Bombchell 🙂
Bombchell for Jaguda relationship guest blog
( for more visit my personal site: bombchell.com or click above pic)

13 COMMENTS

  1. cool have a pix..beautiful.. Dyu also write as one babe like tht?…..cos aft tht Nigeria bs akrata women article….been dying to she wht she looks like…..u look Igood sha….. Nice article too..but I'd prefer how confused u thot they r. LO

    • the Nigerian vs African American article the chick wrote was offensive. But It's her views, and her business. If she chooses to see herself like that, good luck to her. I on the other hand see tremendous beauty in my ethnicity, & the appearance of other Nigerians, & non Nigerian, so I won't put one lower than the other.

  2. Absolutely loving this post. You absolutely read my mind on this one…hopefully we ladies will wake up and start to smell the coffee.

  3. 1.) Let's keep it real. The only way that you can maintain the power in the relationship is if he likes you more than you like him. Sadly, this means downgrade. Ladies, would you be willing to date a guy that you don't find attractive at all, but who you love like a friend?

    2) There are plenty more women out there than men, women outlive men, and there are fewer men than women who actually have it together out there.

    3) We can say all we want about being single and happy. But being single only makes you happy if you know it's temporary, and if you can actually be out there dating a variety of attractive, intelligent, and fun men then of course you'll have a good time being single. Why on earth would you want to settle down? The surplus seems to be favoring men in this regard. If you're out there on the boat alone with no fish out, you will eventually tire and put your fishing pole away.

    • @Jgirl

      true I'm aware that women outlive men by a good number of years in general. so these are also interesting stats:

      married men also outlive single men, and some hypothesize that it's because they have someone to talk to, rather than having it bottled inside. I dont remember if the stats apply globally or was just for the U.S. but guess what, single women live longer than married women. I dont remember the hypothesis.

      I do see your point, but for now, how about we aim for the best, and maybe it'll change the stats :), and increase happiness in the future, and if we're 40,50 & lonely your had half a century of life to make an informed decision.

  4. Very interesting… I think it's always a power struggle when it comes to man-woman relations… Someone always wants to feel like there are needed more that they need their partner… Everything you've outlined could be flipped over for guys. When guys are toasting babes (when babes have the power), the guy will do any and everything to get some time with the girl… Drive long distance, for the most part the girl wont have to touch her wallet… he's always wearing his flyest, and is constantly trying to win her over. But when he realizes she likes him a lot, and he has the "power", then he gets busy…lol. I'm a guy so I know what I and some men do….lol.

  5. LOL the thing be sey this coffee has always been there it is now left up to you to smell it. Anyways the whole relationship bizness tire persin i swear!

  6. Very interesting post………one more thing to consider is that this is the "natural" way of things, I mean biological wiring……..A male in society will always be or perceived as dominant, even more so for a Nigerian male, since males pretty much have the "provider" role on lock down (at least a significant % of males). A female in society is more of nurturer and wants to nurture her her friendships, family, etc, even more so for a Nigerian female who grew up watching their mothers play this role almost perfectly for years.

    Now, all I have written is overly generalized…….however I think if younger women, particularly Nigerian women, want to break away from this male domination and achieve equality in their relationship……then some role reversal is in order. I am not suggesting stop doing womanly things and start doing manly things. That would just be wrong.

    So…..maybe more women should consider staying single longer (don't push it too long), date a bunch of guys (don't take crap from any of them, be prepared to move on anytime), focus on career building, build professional and social relationships………Hopefully in due time you will have learned many things about relationships, developed a stronger sense of self, and know what you really, really want.

  7. Good article miche and I'm not being biased either. I think its interesting the way u presented your views but still stayed on-point with the message ha haa (does that even make any sense? ).

  8. Bombchell, I agree with you in part and disagree with you in part. I agree that women should ask their men more questions if they are unsure about an issue; I also agree that women should not pretend to be what they are not, irregardless of whether he wants them or not. Also I agree that ladies should ask if the guy is good for her, just as he asks if you are good for him. What I do disagree about is your hypothesis about the plan men came up centuries ago to be Kings and to make women serve them? Men did not come up with any plan. Being a Kings is a God-given ability to real men–men who know their roles, and for women to compete with that is to blatantly contravene nature–and a devastating result is inevitable. It is also important that you can't in one breath cherry pick to be a woman whenever it is convenient and beneficial to your needs, and denounce the sacrifice that comes with the benefits attached to convenience: Oh, you want to be a lady when it's time for him to pay the tab after the date; oh, you desire that he is the provider and wine and dine and pay the bills, open doors for you, and be the man of the house (I guarantee, deny it or not, that you will be turned off by a man who does not take charge and play the lead role); but you don't want him to be the King and "serve" him? Or he has come up with a plan centuries ago to be a King. And by serve I do not mean that the woman has to be a slave, just that her role is subordinated to his role. Well, for women who do not want Kings and do not want to "serve" a King, they have a choice to be independent and stay single like Oprah, or a choice as to finding a man who has been divested of his God-given ability to lead and be a King, which is perfectly fine, if that is the route those women choose.

    • Prince your quote: "…And by serve I do not mean that the woman has to be a slave, just that her role is subordinated to his role."

      (shrugs) to each their own. but I do not want or envy a relationship in which I am made to feel as if I am less than the other only because of my gender. Like I do not believe I am less than because of my race, or religion.

      but everyone has value on different things, whether I choose to be a housewife or my family's sole bread winner, both should be respected, and neither should be considered to be less than, cuz if that is the perception, then that will be the reality.

      & if u wanna be served get a maid! but if im serving in one department, best believe my man is man enough to serve in a diff department.

  9. I luv ur post. Bombchell, nice writing!

    I'm totally with u on this issue and i luvd ur response to Prince's post.

    Not to go all religious in here but "Being a Kings is a God-given ability to real men"???? Excuse me if i differ……God's gift was that men should have a MATE…..and to my mind, that means that's what the lady gets too!

    these things happen true, but we've just got to keep spreading the word and learn not to take those lame excuses and answers. It's hard sometimes, especially when know u've got a good man and u dont know what's out there. But u need to let ur position be known. If u establish ur self-worth and self-respect, noone's going to be giving u crappy behaviour, attitudes, respnse or anything else. And if it does happen, deal with it (maybe forgive it sometimes), but NEVER permanently tolerate it………or it'll become the norm!

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