Today, I feel the itch to write something, so I guess I might as well write down the bruhahas from within…or where ever the heck bruhahas come from.
Okay call me an Ijebu goat for finding this out late, but I must say that the ideas men have about what they want is absolute fuckery and just down right confusing. I always thought they were the less complicated sex, but boy was I wrong. So, I think it’s about time they get down from their imaginary high horse, perch and realize what they want from women simply does not exist. And to think they are the first to point out women’s fault about being too picky.*hiss*…. Hypocrites…*hiss*
I just watch them move that thing on their face while they mouth out THE simple things they require from us women. They want a good girl, then its… nah mehn bad girl or bust….she must be nice…wait..naughty…be happy and ready to please, but any more emotions than that, would be too emotional for them.
Let’s not forget, they don’t want a car that hasn’t been tested, then again a new car wouldn’t hurt…hmmm…no they want a used car with some millage, or is it a new car has been warmed up regularly…or maybe a certified pre-owned…who knows what they want. Oh wait, I think it’s a new car that does the job of a used car with minimum millage…millage good enough for go… I don’t even know sef.
What about those that require a loving and caring woman, but when she loves enough to ask who’s calling at 3 am then she’s a way-too-psycho bitch for you. Or if she calls every other hour just to check up, then she’s too clingy, or when she cleans, and dare I say it, cares for you, then she’s too like mama/mummy…..but I thought you want a caring girl….I mean what the frak?
Oooo…they also like the homebody girl that is pretty neat… hold up one cotton pickin’ minute….they want a homebody who likes to party all day everyday cos homebodies are just too boring …but doesn’t that defeat the “homebody purpose”…*scratches head*…they wouldn’t also mind the life of the party girl, but still she must be shy, reserved and know how to dance and let loose at the same time. It just boggles my mind.
This is a famous one I hear all the time: “I want a model type chick”….lol…so model chick is delivered now…leave it to those dandy guys to come up with shit like, “no way mehn, she is too long some how.” I thought you wanted model, so how is that? Or you’ll hear, “my body does me some how around her..she is just long and skinny, or her neck is long ooo.” But have you ever seen a 5’2 model before….like seriously dude? They want a size 2 waist in a size 12 hips coupled with beyonces’ butt… dont even get me started with the breast… lets just say they wouldn’t mind if she suffers from back pains…u dig? Oh wait, did I forget to mention flat ass is a sin?…haven’t you heard? You might as well start finding Asian men, cos naija boys ain’t having none of that “flat as kite” ass. But, then again, if its too big, then they don’t want something they can’t handle…so which is it?…cos I know there’s also something wrong with moderately sized ass…I heard that before…”too up or not onion enough…or to saggy”. Oh please gimme a fraking break.
How about, wanting a woman who takes good care of herself – you know..hair’s in place, nails done, clothes fly and shit etc. Yet they don’t want a high maintenance girl…funny, because last time I checked these were the traits of such girls and not Mary-Amaka. Then there are the “i love the all natural girls”….you got to loves those ones….they love them natural….they say they love girls that can live without yaki, outre, fiber or wig on her head….not that there’s anything bad about what women choose to use on our head o, but they (the men) shout the loudest about how unattractive it is for girls to be fake all over…thing is these are the same monkeys that flock around the false eyelash, fake hair, green contacts, pancake wearing babes, while the natural ones keep waiting for godot. Now if you know Beckett…you’ll know godot never came.
It really confuses me, when men say they like something, and when you finally have the option to choose it they take the opposite or ask for extra jarrah. How about being clear for once and stick to your preference. So you like a little something extra….thats fine..we all want that too…don’t just wahala me or say “we want very simple things” when you are just as complex as us girls.