Before I start, let me introduce myself; My name is Mekus and I will be bringing you weekly articles on a variety of issues that are hot in the streets entitled “Gist Me”. I will decide what to write on based on what I hear people talking about. I attended Umu Igbo Unite Convention this past weekend which was such a dynamic event because the caliber of babes that were in the building was outstanding. There were Pharmacists, MBA holders, Doctors, Consultants, Lawyers, Engineers and so on. I got a chance to sit down and “gist” with a couple females who were part of this group of lovely ladies. Different issues came up during our discussions, but the most pressing and passionate was the fear of a woman making significantly more money than the man in a relationship. Why is it such a big deal?
Let’s take the one normal profession that is “guaranteed” bank, Doctors. Now before the rest of you start claiming that your profession is guaranteed bank too; I don’t doubt it, but name a normal profession that 90%of people in the field are making six figures. Anyways, babes that I talked to this weekend are scared that they are chasing their potential husbands away the second they open their mouth and say what they do for a living. Let’s say a 24 year old female who is starting her first year in residence as an ophthalmologist meets a 26 year old business man who has a “good” job by all standards – probably pulling in $60,000. They start talking and vibing, they figure out mutual friends that know each other and get through all the formalities. After a while, professions come up and the guy says that he is a business man and she says she is an ophthalmologist. The babe’s initial reaction seems cool … but what she is really thinking is ‘as a business man he is making around $50,000’; she knows good and well after residency she will be collecting anywhere from $175,000 to $250,000. She is thinking about how this is going to work if they get serious. Meanwhile in his head he has the same mental calculation going on. He does his quick calculation and finds out what he is up against. When he realizes the deal he wants to start crying inside. Even if he gets a raise 5 times in the next 5 years – assuming a 5% raise each time – He will be making roughing $73,000, while she is making around $200,000. Now what do you think? Should these two people be together?
I don’t think it makes sense because he will want to go to Applebee’s and she wants to go Sundial ($150 a plate) for dinner. He wants to take a vacation to Myrtle Beach and she wants to vacate to Greece and cruise the Mediterranean. In my opinion I think people should date and marry people in the same ball park in all aspects such as culture, background, finances and so on. In the example above if he is pulling in $150,000 or there about, it’s not that different. But at $73,000 my guy is in trouble.
If you flip the scenario and it is the guy who is doctor and wife is in business; most people will claim that it is okay if he is one bringing the money. But is it really? Why would you want a man to feel like since he makes all the money that he is in charge? Marriage is a partnership and I think both parties need to be able to provide and support equally. There are extreme cases such as straight ballers like NBA players or actors or 19 boys (shame on you) and such but for common man lets keep it in same ball park.
Please don’t come at me with pride issues on the male side. If the guy has pride issues he should go sit down somewhere. This article has nothing to do with pride; it has to do with functionality.
What do you think? How important is your spouse’s money? I know people say people money does not lead to happiness but take a look at the number one reason people get divorced and it boils down to Naira… or Dollars…or Euros. 🙂