My people oooo… How I go even start this one sef? No other way, but to just enter the thing immediately. Abuja babes. Abuja don show me strong thing for this life o. The things I saw in Abuja have permanently changed the way I look at any babe that lives in Abuja, goes to school in Abuja or goes to there a lot.
I entered ABJ on a thursday afternoon to run some errands in the city, and I figured I might as well stay there through the weekend. Heck, I grew up not so far away from Abuja but had never really paroled the city, checked out the clubs, bars, attractions, etc. I was on vacation, and had nothing better to do.
As I started touring the city, I was amazed at the caliber of babes I saw around. Fine, correct looking babes… nice body, pretty face, sophisticated looking… ah ah… most of the babes I saw were on point. Those that know me personally and keep tabs of my facebook status can remember me updating my facebook status a couple of weeks ago to “Abuja babes are creme`.” As far as I was concerned, Abuja had the best babes I’d seen in Naija, and I’ve been to a lot of places in the country. Igbo babes o, Yoruba nko, Edo, Fulani, Calabar, Plateau babes, Mak-Town babes o. All of them you can find in our capital city. Orishirishi, as our Yoruba people would say. Little did I know that there was a good reason for the finest collection of babes from around the country to be in Abuja.
Night time came, and awon boyzes were ready to hit the city hard. Boyz had decked up with their finest yankee baffs, and I was ready to start blowing fone` to any babe I decided to toast that night. First we decided to enter this spot called Ibiza. Omo as we were pulling up to the club nah so I see babes everywhere… it had to be about 100 nice looking babes standing outside with skimpy outfits and all. At first I thought maybe the club was about to be popping that night, and we were reaching our first and final destination for the night, but out of no where, a couple of babes approached the car and started pressing their boobs on the window. Na wa oooo… boys just confuse. You mean to tell me that all these babes outside are asewos. Wow. I wont lie, out of curiosity me and my guy decided to talk to one babe, and I was just amazed at how well-spoken and intelligent she sounded…. I know asewos can be educated too, but my normal line of reasoning when it comes to asewo is razz, pretty local, and just an anyhow babe… forgive my ignorance abeg. The babe said she goes to Uniport (another dangerous school), and was just hustling for money while out of school. According to her, it’s a normal thing to do when school is out. I just weak man. The shock on my face was so visible that my guy told me to stop acting like a JJC. No shaking now… make we enter another spot… maybe it’s just that area that asewos hangout. Or is it?
We rolled out to another spot and on the way there, I just kept on seeing babes on the street standing around, and waiting for cars to stop. It’s like everywhere was filled with asewos. A lot of babes wore low cut tops and had rubbed vaseline or body oil on their breasts to create a shiny glow when cars beamed their headlights while driving by. Innovation I tell u. Finally we got to a club called “_________” (I no want trouble abeg), and it was free to get in so boyz entered the place…. we weren’t losing anything anyways. The spot was popping, the DJ was on point, and there were babes. Fines babes everywhere. I thought to myself “ehe… now we don land.” I got myself a drink, and was ready to start blowing my fone` that I had been suppressing since I got to naija. I approached one babe to dance, and she just jelled immediately… no hesitation. Ahhh… my fine boy yankee swag must be working overtime 2nite. I danced with the babe for a while and then she told me that I seemed pretty cool, and asked me to come talk to her in the lounge area since the dance floor was too loud. In my mind, I was already thinking “kai… see correct abuja babes jelling for boyz… not like those Lagos girls that you have to beg to buy them drink…hiss.”
When we got to the lounge the babe was creating convo, and pretty much toasting me. Me sef I was feeling myself a lot… afterall, how many times do you get toasted by a Naija babe? I was still letting my head swell, when I heard “so how much you go drop for the night now?” I turned sharply to make sure she was the one that asked the question, and she asked again. Chei… Chineke mee ooo… See me feeling like one hot guy and nah asewo wey dey toast me as customer since. Talk about being chopped and screwed mehn. Just so I don’t give myself away as a JJC I just said one ridiculously low price that I knew she wouldn’t agree to, and she just hissed, got up and left. Na wa oo. Apparently that club is known for that. Most of the babes that go there are asewos looking for customers. That club nah correct “point and kill”.. or “cash and carry”…lol.
Next day I went to Ceddi plaza to watch a movie, and as I was buying tickets for the movie my guy tapped and pointed to one nice looking babe, and asked, “u remember that babe?”… “the babe from Uniport wey been dey chook breast on top our car last night.” I remembered the babe, and she was looking sophisticated, and on point as most Abuja babes do in the day time. Yesterday I would’ve said the babe was “creme`,” but today I know better. Abuja babes … Day & Night nah two different versions of the same book.
Disclaimer abeg: This post is not implying that all abuja babes are asewos.