10 Things I Love about Naija – Toasting [pt 2]

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Back again with part 2 of my 10 part series “10 things I love about Naija.” Like I mentioned in part 1, Naija in these series applies to the people of, and the country Nigeria. With that being said, I’ll jump right into it. Part 2, as in, the second thing I love about naija is “Toasting.”

Toasting babes
Toasting babes

Toasting, Chyking, Runsing, hollering or whatever you call it has to be one the most exciting extra-curricular activities to do in naija. Before the internet, facebook, dstv, myspace, Playstation, Xbox and all that, there was toasting. Everyone either likes toasting or likes being toasted. There’s just something about really toasting a babe. I’m not talking about the yankee dating kind, I’m talking about real toasting. The one that the guy actually does some serious toasting & begging for about 6 months just to see the color of the girl’s pant…lol. (please see previous post on toasting)

Who remembers the first babe they ever toasted? or the first person that toasted you? I remember mine like it happened yesterday. The girl’s name is __________. Nope! I’m not telling, but she went to my primary school, and when I saw her a couple of years later at St. Murumba’s Inter-house sports (who remembers those?) this was the conversation that ensued:

Me: Hey. How far?

The Babe: I’m fine

Me: Do you remember me?

The Babe: Yes

(At this point I was confused by the one word responses, and decided to go in for the kill)

Me: Soooo, do you like me?

The Babe: I don’t know

Me: Ok… Can I write you? (this was wayyy before collecting numbers…lol)

The Babe: I guess

Me: Ok. Bye.

… and that’s how my first ever toasting ended. It was kinda weird because I thought it was a total failure and I was visibly nervous as hell during the ordeal, but all my friends were hailing me, and saying the babe gave me green light. So confusing…lol. One of the many things that makes toasting interesting…. mixed signals are sent and read in all kinds of different flavors.

I’m sure everyone had a starting point in their toasting careers… either as toasters or toastees, and since then it’s been on and popping.It’s not too many things in naija that are as “sweet” as toasting, or chyking as my people in the east call it 🙂 Now let me see go back and call the babe I’ve been toasting for the past 6 months….lol.

15 COMMENTS

  1. Man I left Naija to young to be toasted!…sniff sniff..but I am going back this summer YAY!!! cant wait to be toasted…lmao!

  2. LMAO…I gotta give u this one, BLU PHI! I dnt know what kind of gold abi diamond she has on her body or the strength of the evil spirit that will possess me to toast a girl for 6 months coz if she makes the fatal mistake of falling for the toast after torturing me all these days & nights, na game over for her oh! But all the same, u gotta love those primary & secondary school days in Nigeria when your boys dare you to talk to this popular chick, lol… boys were gettin the embarrassment of their lives in class & during break! I remember drafting a "love note" & slipping it to this dude who thought he was Denzel Washington in primary school. Lol..the approached the girl believing the job was already set & showed up with cans of orange juice & coke & got the snubbing of his life!!!

  3. lol i loveeeeeeeeeeeee this… mad funny yooo and as a female who grew up in 9ja i hv to say it felt gud been toasted not dis rubbish "shawty lemme hola at u" i miss the iyanga joh

  4. …makes for awkward conversation!

    I hate all nigerian terms for 'toast' (that included)… so damn crude!

    LOL @ 6 months before seeing her pant.

  5. lol @chyking..my cousins and i used to say that all the time…..the one thing about naija guys is they are some patient morrafuckers mehn…lol..6months is an understatement sef…lol

  6. LMAO, Riri this thing dikwa too funny. Man I remember those good ol' toasting days. As per a correct babe, I had to be forming na. Remember how a bobo would ask you out and you couldn't instantly accept o, you would say 'I will think about it', meanwhile for your mind na instant YES. Lmaooooooo.

    • Original Mgbeke… those were the days where I'll have to ask all her friends if she liked me cos I would be so confused as to whether she liked me or not… Now it's pretty simple… If she doesn't call you back, then u get the point…lol.

  7. lmao.. i remember KC bois writing letters to QC girls dat ish was da highlight of my secondary school days. mehn thanks to technology ( gsm and facebook) toastn no dey sweet again kmt!

    • LOL @ GSM …. Toasting is way these days. Nothing is more rewarding than toasting a babe who at first seems not interested and by the time the conversation is over she is trying to follow you home …. LOL

  8. 9JA MEN CAN TOAST……REGARDLESS OF UR AGE, UR HEIGHT, YOUR SOCIAL STATUS, UR COLOUR, 9JA MEN CAN JUST TOAST….ITS LIKE THEY ARE BORN WITH "ISHO" (REJECTION) BULLET PROOF.

    IT IS ONLY A 9JA MAN THAT CAN SEE A GIRL IN ONE SEC, TRY TO CHAT UP WITH HER, AND TELL HER HE LOVES HER IN LESS THAN 10MINUTES OF HIS BUGGIN HER.

    UNA DEY TRY O

  9. sorry to say buh the way MOST nigerian guys "toast" is soo gayy and disgusting…no offence

    the lines dey give is soo annoying and i fink yu guys shud goand learn nicer ways of "toasting" a gurl

    for example

    man- excuse me sister….can i ask yu somtin….

    lady- yes

    man- did it hurt when u fell from heaven

    WHAT THE HELL…. JHEEZE AM SICK OF DEM CUMIN UP 2 ME SAYING I LOVE YU WEN DEY DONT EVEN KNOW MEE AN HAV NEVER SEEN ME B4…….OR DEY SAY YOU LUK LIKE MY EX GURLFREND..WTH

    ITS SO BADDD HERE IN LONDON…DONT KNO HW IT IS IN NAIJA HAVENT BEEN DERE IN A WHILE DOE

    U GUYS SERIOUSLY…FIX UPPP….lol

  10. LDKMD….toast person for 6 months before you go see kpata!

    Ole boy you too funny… I miss naija toasting die…especially when they start with, "Baby girl",usually accompanied by one strong igbo accent.

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