10 things I love about Naija.. In this series of posts, “Naija” is defined as the People of Nigeria, and also the country Nigeria. I was told a couple of days ago that we as Nigerians always seem to focus on our problems and issues with our homeland and not enough on the good aspects of being a Naija person. There are so many problems in Nigeria that we can probably talk about them from now till the end of time, but there are also the good things that I can never ever give up for anything else in the world. The things that made me who I am today. The things that anytime I think about, I just smile and think “wow… those were some funny times”, or just hearing a story about someone and just thinking to yourself “That babe must be a naija babe”…lol. Anyways, without talking too much and in no particular order, I’ll start the “10 things I love about Naija” Series with the one thing most/all Nigerians are familiar with – Efizzy.
Definition of Efizzy: Is there really a definition of efizzy? I don’t know if anyone can actually define it accurately but if I had to give it a shot, I’d say it’s the act of showing off – both in a loud and subtle way.
Where would Nigeria be without efizzy? I don’t think I want to know. It seems like almost everything in naija is about efizzy, and who can do it the most. Someone in Lagos will buy a brand new BMW and specifically request an in-built navigation system even though there is no where to navigate in Lagos. Why? The efizzy that will bring is too much man… Imagine picking up a babe that just finished riding okada and she hears that sweet navigation lady’s voice… Omo… see efizzy levels man. Clap-on lights in your house is efizzy, popping champagne in the club and chilling with finest babes is efizzy. Showing up to a party late and having everyone turn to look at you and your friends cos you girls are soooo on fire – efizzy.
Efizzy is not always about loud, and obvious showing off… there’s the silent efizzy i.e. quiet fine babe efizzy that some girls like to do, or going to Mr. Biggs and casually asking to use the “bathroom” instead of using the “toilet”, asking for “tylenol” instead of “panadol.” Skipping the line at the club, Valet parking when there’s regular parking, buying everyone drinks or dinner at an expensive restaurant, driving a nice lexus with tinted windows, speaking phone` in the village…. All nah efizzy. You name it, and naija people with do it in the name of efizzy. If efizzy was a deadly disease, all Nigerians above the age of 13 will be dead.
Let’s face it. It’s something we all love to do, or love to hate. We all either like being part of the efizzy, watching the efizzy, or beefing people that are doing the efizzy. Even an Okada man can pull efizzy on his levels if he wants to. So there… Efizzy is one of the things that I just absolutely love about Naija, and would not trade out. I can’t even imagine my life without it.
With that being said, I’m off to go pop moet at the club… not because I love moet like that, but I like the efizzy that comes with it 🙂