Naija Dating – One Degree of Separation

This one degree of seperation don tire me
This one degree of seperation don tire me

This one degree of separation amongst NIGERIANS is becoming insane. This happens 9 times out of ten, I meet a fine looking naija man, with serious prospects – lets call him Chinedu. This is how the discussion goes most times:

Meyonce: Bola mehnnn I met this Fine boy oh last night at Queens in ATLANTA

Bola: AH AH..for real??? What’s his name

Meyonce: Chinedu

Bola: What Chinedu?? Chinedu Nzelu??

Meyonce: I guess..dont know his last name yet. He is about 6 ft 1

Bola: Yes, Light skin, has dreadlock…

Meyonce: Wow..yes…you know him???

Bola: Hell yeah..ah ah …isn’t he the same one that used to date Ceclia

Meyonce: Ceclia?? Your sisters bestfriend??

Bola: Yes….

This is just one of many scenarios, and the boy does not even live in Atlanta .

Now I would have to be faced with the decision of “do I want to talk to him or not?” Not that Cecelia and I are best friends or anything, but we speak when we see each other, we are friends on facebook, and we have the same circle of friends. If I talk to him, this is how the usual girl problem start, they begin to call you man snatcher, asewo babe, gold digger, trifling ass and the list goes on. But if don’t talk to him because of the so called GIRL CODE, then I’d feel like I missed out on true love; all of a sudden the BOBO becomes off limits.

It seems like I can’t just meet a man in peace. Even if I meet Bankole in Alaska, Bankole will have a Cousin that lives in Houston who went to secondary school with my EX-BOYFRIEND that lives in Alabama . In fact the one degree of separation is what makes me scared of dating a naija man. Sometimes I just fantasize about dating a Tyrone or Keshawn because at least you know 9 times out of 10 he wont know your story with Oghene. Don’t get me wrong I have not done anything in the past to be ashamed of, but we know that with our people if they hear one thing about you (which may not even be true) they begin CNN with added extra flavor of Maggi and pepper to make the story sweet.

So with being said, what do you think about dating in the close-knit naija community that we are associated with? Thoughts? Comments?


  1. LOL, this is funny. I mean you can't escape it so I say go ahead and do you, don't miss out on a potential good thing because you are scared.

    I totally feel you sha, the Naija community is a small one indeed.

    • Who be this one?.. Of course the article is not about where you meet the person but the community in general… so plain silly.

      Anyways… I have to agree with truth. It's best if you don't have too many friends.. Less toes to step on.

  2. You speak the truth. That is why it's not good to have numerous circle of friends. Its seems the more people you know, the more you gotta watch out. Women are very territorial and it doesn't matter how long ago they dated or fancied the guy. They will still cut your neck if you make a move.

    The less people I know, the more possible prospect out there for me. That way, nobody will be hinting me to pass up my "possible" dream man because he dated my friend's sister's bestfriend? woooosaaaah!

  3. That is so true and Seriously when u find an answer 4 this let me know cos i have been in that situation more than once.LOl.

  4. LOL I feel you on this one. I'm in cali and the community out here is so close and small. It's like everyone has dated each other; at this point it doesn't even matter anymore. It's all a matter of if you care or not.


  5. Do you know what? F_*k that!!!! Yes, F – that. I used to give a hoot about that b4 but now men, i really dont care, we naija's always know someone who knows someone who's dated a girl we so much wanna date, we kinda rob our selves of something that could last a long time or even lead to marriage.

    • Some people are in their own stage of giving a hoot about it so let them have their own experience. It's a free world. Everyone should live as they please.

  6. Maybe these are the dangers of playing in isolated circles..LOL… But then, there might be some learnings into the character of Chinedu that the one degree of separation can help bring to the fore which might not neccesarily be in the public domain if the separation were much bigger.. Dunno..

  7. As long as your Nigerian in Yankee or Uk you are in a cirlce wether you like it or not. I am still yet to meet a naija man that not even ONE person knows. Or he does not have "friends in common" with me on FACEBOOK.

    Nice Read!

  8. In my opinion,

    If both parties i.e guy and girl are truly ready to settle down, the past or history of knowing somebody would not matter since your aim is to know,learn and understand each other before marriage.

    On the other hand if any or two of the parties is just out to date, The Nija circle thing will come to play to a point of separating the union.

    **The only comma or worries is If the guy or girl has dated your immediate or blood related family in the past,THAT MAY BE WORTH A THOUGHT BEFORE PROCEEDING.

  9. i had a similar scenario in my life 3yrs,i thot i could dam d consequence nd date true to fact i was humilated beyond wat i could comprehend,3yrs after d names i was called in sch still hunt me nd i ve been single nd miserable 4 d last 2 yrs,PPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSS we shld learn to let go of ur past(relationshps) nd allow innocent pple live

  10. Haha.

    Must you date naija .lol

    For me, its a must but…there are so many out there

    i have met too many people that no one i know, knows, ok. . my friends are quite

  11. Yo, this is a good post. Especially since I live in Atlanta. But I haven't once experienced that, i really don't mess with too many Naija's. Sometimes it's too much drama. so it wouldn't be a problem.

  12. Hmmmm…do you have to go to Queens? There are much better places to meet people eg. church. Unless you just want a chop and go…Besides, he doesn't have to be Nigerian. I personally don't mind where he's from as long as he's the will of God for my life. Besides, no offence, the nigerian may even be satan incarnate and could make you unhappy so broaden your horizon.

  13. Well, regardless of if you date a Naija guy or not. If the guy has a circle of friends, very soon, you'll have people talking about you so just do your thing! Ignore the jobless people who just want to whine all day about your life when they know nothing about it. I have a love-hate feeling for naija guys. Let me explain, on reason is the one you stated, that is the one degree of separation. The second reason is that while I would really love to date one or end up with one, whenever I do, they themselves always end up stinging me by gossiping, and saying ridiculous things. It's crazy and I'm fed up of it for real! Where are all the good naija men?

    • i was just asking that same question the other day? and my mommy wonders why i stray from dating naija guys…lol.

  14. girl… plp no get work! if they want to gossip let them sit down and gossip and while they are at that, they can also sit down and watch the guy put a ring on it then they'll have even more to talk about. me I'm a no nonsense girl ooo if your not family, best friend or close friend, then u can go and take a sit somewhere and smoke cannabis while i date your ex, for all you know he could be my Mr right!

  15. I got one for you…

    Met my current boyfriend…we'd been dating for about 7months (we're both on fb)…some girl I grew up with in Nigeria (dont really know her but I know her…you know?)…anyways…she randomly adds me as a friend…I honestly didnt even remember her…but…I noticed we had a couple of mutual friends so I figured…what they hell right?

    Well, she starts to email me and chat when she sees me online…and eventually asks for my number…I give to her…we chit chat here and there and its all good…hahaha…wow…

    So yes, I'm talking to my bf on the phone and she rings in…so I look at it and I'm like…I'll just call her back…he offers to get off the phone…I'm like…its just Nkem…I'll call her back…he says…Nkem Adams? I'm like…yeah…do you know her? He's like…yes…I used to blahdie, blah with her back in the day…she called me a while back trying to start it up again and I said I was with someone…

    WOW! OMG! So…NOW WHAT DO I DO? Leave him? Hells no! Girl…you better date who you want to date and bump all else!